(To Lolo-Dadah, on his 3rd death anniversary…)
I have never really asked myself if I’m ready to die nor if I want to die but I guess we really don’t have any options, we will die, someday and somehow.
Few years ago, my “Lolo-Dadah” died. He was a man of great wisdom having been a former principal in Bicol University, being one of the founders of U.I and having countless of medals, awards, certificates of merit pinned on his wall. I truly was amazed by him. Although I am not sure of how old he was when he died (I think he was between in his 80’s and 90’s) -really old, bed ridden but can still talk. I always enjoyed Christmas when I was a kid because we would go to their house and they would give us (his “apo-apohans”) gifts, fruits and money (*yeah baby!). And he would tell us stories about our parents, about how life was back in the 70’s, about the unfussiness of their lives when they were still kids while he comfortably sits in his wheel chair. I was a kid then and it never occurred to me that one day, this man whom I call “Lolo-Dadah” will stop telling us stories, will stop giving us gifts, will stop breathing and eventually be gone-FOREVER. And so when he died, I felt really confused and sad at the same time. On his funeral mass, one of his grandchildren (with the first wife) was asked to tell something about Lolo. He was 7 years old and he came from U.S so he was fluent and all (and he had a very cute kid accent).
This is what I can recall about the things he said that afternoon…
“Lolo is a great man, a true model to all us. And being a child, I have never really understood as to why God takes the special persons in our life. So until I understand God’s plan, I’ll just pretend that Lolo is sleeping and that one day he’ll gonna wake up”
I am still like that kid; I have never really thoroughly understood why God takes away our loved ones. Although death is inevitable, I just wish that I will die before my loved ones do. I think I cannot live without my parents, even the thought of them growing old is too much for me. I would cry whenever I would see some gray hair on my father’s head or whenever I see him without his denturesL.
Death is certain, a summation of our existence, and proof of our being human. No one really knows when it will be knocking in our doorsteps, no one will ever will. We’ll just have to prepare ourselves that someday, after all the troubles that we have gone through, after all the blissful moments, we will be standing at the end of our roads. And when that moment comes, I will definitely see my Lolo-Dadah once again, and he will tell me stories or perhaps give me gifts and fruits(!!!) although I am not sure if he can still give me money (lol).
Until then, keep sleeping lolo. One day you’re gonna wake up…I’m sure you will and all of us (ur apo-apohans) will be there.:)
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